QUEENSTOWN

But I'm ahead of myself. Left Christchurch by train to go over or through the Arthur's Pass. Great Gorges! Both an exclamation AND a description. Not a steam engine (they've got one of those down here), but old cars and spectacular views down into the river below. Very high tressels for the gulp factor. Went outside on the viewing platform, which is nothing more than a small space at the end of the car, outside, so the wind blows the camera around and you get to jostle the *&^)$$#!s who are hogging the prime viewing footage. Shot some stuff over one guy's shoulder so the results are questionable. The skies are darkening and it ... is .... raining, again. The views shut down to rain forest and mist-shrouded mountains. Stopped at the town of Hokitita for lunch in the downpour, exiting at ---- naturally --- the jade factory. Managed to keep Loni down to a small purchase. Wandered around and found "Sister Browne's" cafe. Four black-shirted local maids (as in, bound to be old-- ), actively making homemade meat pies and pitas for sandwiches. The small kitchen-ordering counter opened into the lobby of the local theatre which was doing double duty as a dining room. Had my back to the ticket booth and the signboard warning the local miscreants that anyone found trying to use an old ticket would be reported to the police and PERSONALLY BANNED FROM THE MOVIES FOR ONE MONTH! I think I know which was the worst fate in this rather remote hamlet. Couldn't order anything with lamb. Sorry mate, all the lamb gets exported to the States. Settled for beef pie which was quite tasty. Back to the rain to find some batteries which the Canon seems to be eating at a rapid clip. Avoided the "you really should use" lithium package at $49, and got some Kodak alkalines. They seem to be holding up quite well. We continued in the bus up the switchbacks in the mist to Franz Joseph Glacier, an even tinier and more remote spot in the road. Driving rain and the windshield wipers on the bus stopped working. There were surreptitious "clicks" heard throughout the bus as we one-by-one started fastening our seat belts. Scotty got us there. One-story motel accommodations, with excellent location: the only pub within 50 miles was 50 feet out our back door. Trying the local brews is a must-do part of my tour. I rate Montieth pretty good, especially the black. Amply fortified, we weaved our way to dinner and were greeted with lamb shanks! Yeah! Sister Browne lies. Great steamed cake-pudding with ice cream and raspberry coulie. Ready for our first laundry break, where I had a hilarious time pantomiming and finally doing for a Japanese tourist who couldn't figure out the washing machine. Bowing and domos in return.
Thursday -- Rain. More rain. Drummed all night on the metal roof of the motel, like white noise. Soothing, actually. Off to see the glacier, the wonderful glacier of Oz. Oops, wrong country. The Kiwi's definitely have a thing about the Aussies. Scotty is glaring at all the Aussie gear that people bought, and is encouraging a switch to Kiwi garb. An amazing number of people accommodate him as our trip progresses. Anyway, the glacier, a huge mass of dirty snow that winds down the mountain to a terminus across the way. The claim to fame is that it's only one of two (Chile has the other) that terminates in a temperate rain forest. Ferns and stuff. Wet, drippy ferns. On our way down the West Coast, which is almost unpopulated. Some grumbling from the troops whose luggage got wet in the underfloor baggage compartment. This Volvo bus seems to need a few repairs. Considering the roads we're on, I hope the brakes are in better condition than the rest. Climbing up to go through the Hasst Pass and along the Haast River. Now this is the NZ that we had imagined! Huge and numerous waterfalls shooting out and down the sides of sheer mountain sides. Lord of the Rings! And, right on cue, out comes the sun so we can see things. Now we've got great water flow and vision too! The bridges thoughout the south of NZ are all one laners. It's truly amazing how well the wait and go system works. You get the idea that this is how we might have been as a society about 100 years ago. Courtesy is alive and well. We pass sheep, more sheep, cattle, and deer farm after deer farm. Quite a sight to see hundreds of deer munching away quite contentedly. Stopped now by a long line (400 yards) of dairy cows, two by two, going back to the barn for milking. There goes the farmer at the tail end, wearing his wellies and looking like he just escaped from James Herriot country.

Stopped on a high hill overlooking our first view of Queenstown. We look down the mountainside at a series of switchbacks that would do Lombard street proud. Scotty plunges us down to ooohs, and ohs! The 180 degree turns are taken by taking up all of the curve very slowly, nosing the front out over the abyss, with full wheel lock pivoting the bus around the rear wheels. Quite a sight. Into Queenstown, which is actually quite small in terms of year-round population. We've seen estimates from 8,500 to 12,500, but they get 1.2 million visitors a year! I can see why. This is the most drop-dead gorgeous setting for a city that I've ever seen. Huge Lake Wakatipu, which winds in an S-shape through these towering cliffs all around. This is the most expensive real estate in all of NZ. Cheapest housing for a condo is about $300,000, and the homes go well north of $1 million. Egads. What do they do to afford them? (Those are NZ$, which is about US 75cents). To the north is a mountain range aptly called "The Incredibles" for the way the setting sun bounces off. That's something we've yet to see, as the clouds are back again. Our hotel is the nicest one thus far (the "Mercure"), but is the first not located in the center of town. It's a $10 cab ride into town. Our room didn't make the no-smoking cut, and seems to be the only one with an obstructed view (tree) of the entire sound. Oh, well, we'll be out and about, not lounging in the room. Off to dinner at the Peak, which is a 4-person gondola ride almost straight up. I kid you not. It seemed like an 80 degree climb. Rained all the way up, so we couldn't see anything once we'd left the station. Got a wind blast at the top that sent the gondola swinging and me gulping. Exited into the restaurant and saw nothing but white through the windows. Augh! We were the first of our group up the hill, so we waited for everyone to arrive and listened to a couple of Maori singers do their thing. Sounded Hawaiian. Once everyone arrived, we turned around to go into the dining room and . . . BEHOLD! The rain stopped, the clouds lifted, the town and lake and mountains appeared, all under a gigantic rainbow. Egads. I felt like Dorothy gazing upon the Emerald City. I'm going to have to permanently park my pessimism. We sat right next to the window for, well, I've said it before, but a drop-dead view. Great buffet dinner with every kind of shellfish imaginable, carved roast beefs and lamb, and venison stew. Endless dessert table that was very very good. We looked like we'd been starving instead of feasting for days -- pigged out to the max. Everyone was in a very happy mood, and that is woithout any booze.

Friday. 7:15 departure for Milford Sound. Scattered clouds, windy. Traveled all around the upper arme of Lake Wakatipu viewing the snow-capped peaks. We're in the #2 seat row now, so I can actually see out the front. The rain started up again and it was pretty dreary across the plains until we started into the mountains and passes, then it was mostly light drizzle with low clouds covering the tops of the sheer cliffs. However, the rain is a bonus. Waterfalls are shooting out or coursing down in giant ribbons everywhere around us. We truly have reached Middle Earth. I think I just saw a Hobbit. These valleys are all glacier-carved, about 2-3,000 feet high sheer granite walls. It's like Yosemite extended for a hundred miles. Because of the rain, the permanent falls are twice their normal size, and there are hundreds of falls that only appear during and right after a rain. So says Scotty. Where the slopes are a little less sheer, thick forest covers them. But the trees, which have been growing for hundreds of years to reach any size, have no real soil to cling to, only moss debris and such that has built up over time. So they give way in dramatic fashion every so often, and a tree slide ensues, which is just like a landslide without the dirt. One of them closed this road some years back for about 3 weeks, and the tourists had to be helicoptered over the Milford Sound. Actually, it's a fjiord, since it was carved by glacier action, but the misnomer took hold a long time ago. More wild switchbacks down into the final valley, to the small town where the tour buses meet the tour boats. We join a zillion chinese tourists on the Spirit of Milford, a giant 3-decked catamaran. We got crummy box lunches with sandwich and apple, the Chinese got nifty compartmentalized boxes with much nicer stuff. Once underway, I went out on deck to take my viewing with the mist, bow spray, and wind. Well, all I can say is, everything I've said before pales by comparison with Milford Sound. Once again the rain had done its thing and the falls shooting off the glaciated cliffs into the Sound were spectacular. I hope my pictures do them justice, but it's hard to tell on the tiny viewscreen on the Canon. I doubt any photo could, since you lack the roar of the falls at the least. The boat noses right into the bottom of a couple of falls, and its time to stow the camera as the blowing spray from hitting the sound is drenching. As we head further out into the mouth of the sound we pick up some nasty swells and the deck suddenly starts pitching pretty good. Guy next to me lost it and fell very hard on the deck on his elbow. Ouch. He insisted he was ok, but he's going to be hurting tonight. I played the Leonardo Decaprio bit on the bow and am sure I looked a perfect ass to the passengers inside. Tough. I was loving it! On our return we got oncoming porpoises that were riding the bow wake of an approaching boat. They peeled off and jumped their way toward us and then dove between our cat-hulls. Very nifty. I tried to get some shots, but the lousy 1 second delay on the camera shutter meant I got a lot of dark water instead. I''m going back to film! Back on the bus for the 3-4 hour ride to Queenstown. Everyone is bushed from all the bus travel, so lots of Z's coming from the back. Tomorrow is a free day, so we can sleep in for virtually the first time since we left. I think it's pub-time tonight for some grub and, of course, the local brew -- Speith, this time! Later.